


A Susurration of Serpents

by Vulgarweed



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Crowley is a Very Snaky Boy, M/M, Masturbation, Shapeshifting, Weird anatomy, Xeno, scaly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-07
Updated: 2019-07-07
Packaged: 2020-06-24 06:42:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19718296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vulgarweed/pseuds/Vulgarweed
Summary: Inspired bythis breathtaking thread at fail_fandomanon. If the originator of this idea wants to come forward, please do and I will give all the due credit and maybe buy you lunch sometime.Aziraphale wanders in on Crowley having some quality time with himself, as only he can.





	A Susurration of Serpents

Aziraphale heard no reply. Another century-long nap, then? Rude, since it was Crowley’s turn to buy dinner. But what if…? Aziraphale thought he might be feeling a bit protective, after so many terrible things had almost happened. Having Crowley out of his sight for long didn’t sit well with him anymore.

Well, if Crowley was sleeping, let him. Aziraphale just wanted to reassure himself that his opposite number was all right.

Carefully and quietly, Aziraphale rejected the suggestion of the lock, and let himself into Crowley’s flat.

Snakes. _Everywhere._ Draped over the desk. In the plant pots. On the floor. On the drama queen throne. Hundreds, if not thousands. He could hear the low susurrations of their scales rubbing as they writhed tangled together. The mass was not holding still. It was undulating, laced together in clusters within clusters, hissing and shivering. It filled the air with a dry musky scent that Aziraphale found disturbingly enticing. There were little skirmishes within the pile as individual snakes fought for position, but this . . . gathering . . . was clearly united in the single purpose of mating.

For long moments, Aziraphale watched, rapt at the spectacle and not entirely at peace with the sensations he was feeling. A few heads began to investigate him, starting to twine up his legs. “Now, now, not your species,” he muttered, flustered in his tightening trousers. Fascinating and weirdly erotic as this spectacle was, he had a purpose after all. He cleared his throat.

“Crowley?” he ventured tentatively. Nothing. A little louder. Nothing. Just snake sex as far as the eye could see. 

“CROWLEY!” he finally called out, and put a little bit of _angel_ into it.

All the snakes shot their heads up at once, a perfectly unified motion. A rushing whirring roar filled the room, and all the snakes whipped together and solidified into a mostly-singular Crowley. Lying naked at Aziraphale’s feet. Flushed and sweaty and streaked with other fluids, and in a state of . . . extreme rampancy. Really rather tastelessly extreme.

“Didn’t you ever learn to knock?” he snarled. His vertical pupils were nearly round.

“I did knock!” Aziraphale snapped, mortified at his inability to take his eyes away from Crowley’s form.

“Can’t a demon even have a wank in peace?”

“That’s what you were doing? All those snakes . . . _having relations_ with each other . . . were all you?”

“A little elaborate but why not?” he said defensively.

Aziraphale took a deep breath to address the other issue. “Your . . . um . . . I believe the standard-issue B-form human model is only supposed to have one of … those.”

“Well you startled me too much for a perfect transformation,” Crowley said, starting to get a little swagger back. “But at least I have two hands now, so if you’d leave me to it . . . .”

Oh no, Aziraphale had waded far too far into these weird waters to turn back now, not with Crowley looking at him like that. “You have four hands that can be put to the task if you’ll have me,” he was nearly shocked to hear himself say. “And as many wings and eyes as you’d like, if that appeals.”

Crowley’s eyes went wide, and both of his engorged cocks seemed to swell larger as he reclined on his elbows. “Ohhh . . . well, if you’re offering.”

“I am,” Aziraphale said, and he took the step of miracling pillows as he knelt and crawled over Crowley, taking one of the human-ish hemipenes in one soft manicured hand, to watch Crowley’s spine arch upward.

“I wasss thinking about you,” Crowley whispered. “I always get ssso many more ssnakes when I think about you. It’s the best. But no, this is the best, oh yesss….”

“Let’s stick to the basics for now,” Aziraphale said dangerously as he lowered his mouth towards the straining pair. “But if you want to, um, invite me to your snake orgy someday . . . ”

Crowley moaned, “Oh there’s so much we can do….” He turned on the impish grin. “Would you like to watch me suck the other one?”


End file.
